Hello blog-readers of the universe, specifically those who have been somehow directed here of all places. Hello and welcome to the fifth-someodd installment of my personal account of things. Today's subject will be: Charlie Immer and you.
Charlie Immer is my beloved roommate and life-long human friend. He is also an epic oil painter and illustrator, the owner of every season of Seinfeld, and a hygenic and altogether sound-minded individual who has immaculate taste in music to boot. That said, and in keeping with life's general irony and ass-backwardness, he is moving out at the end of the month. Without belaboring reasons why, other than to say that it is by no fault of my own (I am merely a cat), and that no hostile feelings are in play whatsoever (quite the opposite in fact), the point here is that we are now in search of a new roommate.
I will now proceed to list pertinent information for all prospective Bushwick-dwellers and friends of prospective Bushwick-dwellers who may be on the lookout for places on their prospective Bushwick-dweller-friends' behalfs. For the convenience of those reading this particular entry and to avoid any confusion about the number of people living here, I will adopt the first hand voice of one of my human roommates. And please don't ask me how I know all this information, just trust in its unbiased accuracy.
LOCATION & SURROUNDING AREA:
We (Morgan, Charlie, Jing, Colin) live on the Morgan stop on the L, which may be considered West Bushwick. It is a Very Safe Area ( = a couple isolated blocks of hipsters who make each other feel simultaneously secure and insecure.). We live two blocks from the subway, which means we don’t have to take into consideration walking time to the nearest stop when we are planning to go somewhere "on time" (what is that?) It takes about 20 minutes to get to Manhattan. Establishments of interest on these two blocks include: an organic bodega/grocery store (too expensive, but convenient for select items like their $4 falafel wrap), a coffee shop/internet cafe/movie rental place (decent bagels and friendly atmosphere), an art gallery (totally whatevz), a middle eastern eatery ($3.50 falafel wrap…), a soon-to-open liquor store (finally), and around the corner on our street is an overpriced gourmet pizza place and an autobody shop (noisy during the summer but sometimes there is a lime-green Lamborghini). Down our street further is a wonton factory and a pretzel factory (some day we will find a way to procure the reject pretzels), and some kind of warehouse where welding occurs. If you continue past our street from the subway there is Flushing Ave, where we have grown to love Tony's Hardware (key--copying, kitten owning, hardware time capsule), Tina's Diner (god’s gift to hangovers and busted wallets), The Wreck Room (bar), and a Chinese food place which will remain anonymous (cheap as shit and humorously unreliable). Nearby on Knickerbocker there is a sizable thrift store with a wide selection of trend-approved garments.
BUILDING & NEIGHBORS:
Everyone seems nice and cool. There’s a band across the hall, and Irish cokehead next door, friends upstairs and a rave downstairs with a bohemoth fucking subwoofer. There is a laundry room in the basement which is convenient on the off chance that the machines are dryers are both working. When they are not, we have a heater and a fan. There are three locking doors between the outside world and our inside funhouse, but for everyone’s convenience, the hallway door usually remains unlocked. We are on the second floor. No robbers. We have a buzzer, which is fun to use. There is a huge, awesome roof that we can play on and spit off of. If you have a death-wish, you can jump to the next building’s roof.
OUR SPACE:
It is a loft of about 1000sq ft. Our rooms are “stacked”, which is to say, mine is up against the left wall, and my ceiling/colin’s floor is about 6ft off the ground. Accordingly, his room is directly above mine, and he uses a ladder to climb into it from the living room. Charlie’s and Jing’s rooms are in the same format, and the two stacks of rooms are separated in the middle by a hallway leading from the kitchen into the living room/studio area. We also have a bathroom. Part of the kitchen is used as studio space, part for cooking and eating. The living room is also half studio, half super partee/tv/battleship/hangout time. We have a tv which is useful for watching Seinfeld, TYRA, and various courtroom shows. There are great big windows taking up almost the whole street-facing wall of the living room! They are great windows, and emit much light. There is still a light sprinkling of higly offensive porn around the apartment from the second annual “Fuck Me Christmas” party.
CHARLIE’S ROOM:
Charlie’s room is the bottom room on the right. The wall facing the hallway is mostly “door” space, but can be replaced with an actual door, if it is desired. There is one small window facing Jing’s stairs, which was never widened on account of Charlie’s nocturnal lifestyle. The drywall was not finished on the inside when we moved in, so there is slightly more space! Or we can fix it. Other than that, it looks like all the other rooms. It is about 8”x8” and 6” high, and stunning. It’s most recent modification are two discreet holes drilled in the wall it shares with the kitchen, for spying capabilities.
US:
We are all awesome. You probably already know us. If you don’t, we are two chicks and a dood, or two illustrators and a filmmaker respectively. We like to have people over and host/go to parties, though we are nevertheless completely responsible, trustworthy, and productive. We enjoy like totally hanging out, making fun of stuff and each other, harassing our cats, cooking, playing UNO, collecting bizarre things and super-awesome VHSs's's', art, music and all related snobbery, knowing everything about Seinfeld, spying through our peephole and eavesdropping through our buzzer, hiding out in our rooms, finding the cheapest taco, buying and drinking 3 dollar wine, and meeting like-minded individuals. We also have two very important cats: Groover (yours-truly, the moderator and author of this blog) and Tiger Power (her blog can be found through mine, though she is much, much stupider and I don’t recommend actually attempting to read it.)
MISC:
Some combination of laziness and openness prevented us from ever getting doors for our rooms. We all have some combination of curtains and blinds. You can have a door if you want, we won’t judge. In fact if you want a door, way to go on taking a step further into adulthood, I say. Rent is $625 + utilities, but excluding water. There is a pull-up bar.
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